these past few weeks i have felt like they have
been the worst days of my life.
i feel like a bad mom.
i'm tired.
i just want to be happy and feel like i have it all together!
will that ever happen?
i'm sure i'm not the only mother out there
who hasn't felt this way one time or another.
i'm just struggling to find that balance in my life where
"i can do it all"!!
for starters i feel like i have no control over my little guy.
he is so defiant and stubborn.
he wants to do it all.
he wants to be a big kid.
he wants, he wants, he wants!
he needs, he needs, he needs!
i try so hard to give him what he needs.
to be what he needs.
it's just never enough.
it's hard...
VERY hard.
i want to be the best mom and do all the right things.
it's just difficult when you see no results.
don't worry! i'm not giving up!
it's just hasn't been easy!
i love him so much.
having my sweet baby girl has been amazing
for our family.
you take one look at her and she just lights
up and melts your heart!
but she makes me SO sleepy!
i know it comes with having a new baby
but dang it's been an adjustment!
i've recently made a list of what i can do around the house
everyday of the week.
i thought it would be helpful for me, so i wouldn't forget
about something, and so i can stay on top of the house.
well...now i hate that little list!
it's just a constant reminder when i don't make it to those
things.
so we're taking a break from the list and trying something new.
i don't know what that is yet, but i will soon figure it out!
hopefully! :)
I'm trying very hard to be
patient
kind
loving
understanding
but most of all,
at peace.
i know it will take time to feel like i have it all together,
to feel like i'm the best mother i can be.
i just need to remember why i'm here...
for my family.
they need me.
they depend on me.
i'm all they have.
and they are all i have.
we will have little bumps in the road along the way but
i just need to get back up and keep trying.
just keep trying...
3 comments:
i have kinda been feeling the same way... except there is only one! haha! i just keep going to the temple to remind me of the peace!!! that's the only thing that has been keeping me going from week to week! you're strong shan you are amazing! love you!
you are definitely not the only one that gets frustrated, overwhelmed, and down. you are so great! and your kiddos love you tons! i was having a freak out moment a few months back and that is why i took my cooking class. i get 2 hours once a week to do something that i enjoy and then i come back missing my family and ready to start again. i think the photography thing you are doing is a great idea. maybe you can find a local class to take so you get take a break.
Something that has helped me the most when I am feeling that way is this talk:
http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng
Seriously. Read it everyday.
Love you.
Jamee
xoxo
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